The Promise

Hello everyone, I know it’s been months since I wrote some thing. I probably said that a few dozen times so it’s safe to say The only thing I’m consistent at is being inconsistent( & I’ve probably already said that too) I’m just trying to find a way to create a regimen in order to rectify this. And if anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears.

I could just blame my absence on a number of things. Such as everybody’s go-to excuse,”I’m Busy”. But I must admit that it’s lack of organization, combined with being overwhelmed with so many things I have to do indirectly in order to keep my project afloat. But I am not looking for any sympathy or patronizing. Even though a few medical issues had a rose, which kept me not just from writing, but also performing during the summer months, I enjoy playing outside with an acoustic guitar and a portable amp. Or ask they call it in England “busking”.

Oh, obviously, I meant to post this during the summer. A lot has happened since then, but I still would like to continue with, as the main point is still relevant. We all know that no matter how much we planned, how much we prepare for things to run smoothly, they almost never do. For instance, the first thing comes to mind is our annual charity music festival, Bravofest. This past year we did a lot of preparation, both in our performance and promotion. Which led to me appearing on NBC’s CT Live!, a morning TV show filmed At NBC Studios in Hartford, CT hosted Taylor Kinzler.

NBC CT Live!,Taylor Kinzler,Nate Dal Cais,the Promise,Song by When in Rome,What does when in Rome Mean?,Song,Bravofest 2023,July 2023

We thought with this kind of publicity, and all of rehearsing we did with the new member of the band would have insured that we would have a great turn out and a solid performance. Although we do raise some money for the charity that we have been supporting, Things went awry for many reasons. Including the abrupt departure of our newest bandmate. Who was diligently practicing and rehearsing with us for months. I know it’s not the end of the world, but after all that hard work and money, we all put into it I would’ve expected them to at least have some respect for the time that they put into this. But instead they forced us to bring this train to a screeching halt. But then again, it hasn’t been the first time. I admit that over the years, I’ve grown to resent these type of actions when most people that agreed to perform with us Don’t have many other responsibilities. Unlike myself, of course but I’m sure that goes without saying. And I had to keep telling myself that there are no guarantees in life (And these days we’re lucky if the band can’t even get a guarantee in terms of money, which we were able to obtain a lot years ago) And not many promises. Well, not many that people keep by the way.

People don’t realize how bad it is to break a promise (apparently Capt. Hook did). It goes beyond the scope of letting someone down. Of course we can surmise that there’s a greater impact When you break a promise to a child as opposed to in adult. But many times people make promises (Especially to themselves) When you make a statement like “ I’m going to do the laundry today” That’s a promise. And if, for some reason you end up not doing what are you said you were gonna do you’ve broken a promise. You can choose to disagree with me on this or not, but I feel that it does have a negative impact when you do something as small as my laundry example (And I have to admit, I use this as an example because I have to do my laundry tomorrow lol) it’s basically putting some sort of energy out there that’s waiting to be manifested and then it never does. It just kind of floats around and is either wasted or transmuted into something negative. Think of prayers or spell work for example. You’re putting out an intention, hoping for some desired outcome to happen, and you truly mean it. This is just another way of explaining how powerful words are. I’m reminded of a poster I saw at my colleges tutoring office : “Be careful of your thoughts, for they become your words. Be careful of your words, for they become your actions. Be careful of your actions, before they become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for they become your character. Be careful of your character, for it becomes your destiny. I believe that quote is a variation of some thing that Mahatma Gandhi was quoted as saying. However, I’m pretty sure you understand my point now.

I do, however, think that some of the most painful broken promises from life itself. When in reality, these are merely our expectations. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to learn from my dearly, departed friend and bandmate Lynn Haze “Expectations are pre-resentments” As he famously put it. I recall watching the TV show “Frasier”, Where the main character transitions from Being a practicing psychiatrist to an on air radio personality, that gives call in listeners advice. I think it was on the very first episode that he told woman who recently split up with a man that she had been with for a long time and was planning to have a future with that much of what she was grieving was the life she anticipated with this man. Ironically enough, From what I remember, this person called in as Frasier was considering going back to his regular practice thinking that this: show wasn’t going to be successful or help anyone. That interaction certainly put things into perspective for both of them.

This is probably why the song called “the Promise” by When in Rome has been a staple at many Weddings. Even though the some members of the band believe that Clive Farrington (who write most of the lyrics) was inspired by a recent breakup. I will feed you, the lyrics word for word, but they speak in detail about what everybody hopes for from the person they are with. And of course, the title is assurance of that, hence “the Promise”. For myself the part of the lyrics that stick out the most is the start of chorus, when he says “ I’m sorry, I’m just thinking of the right words to say I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be” The sincerity of admitting that what he’s trying to say isn’t perfect, even though he’s trying his best to make it so. It also reminds me of something I had pointed out in a previous entry Stand by Me, when the very first lines of “the Body”, the Stephen King novella that inspired the movie Have the narrator explaining the words don’t usually translate, verbally the way they had, they had been thought up in your head. And of course, this song will always be synonymous with the movie “Napoleon Dynamite”. I’m sure As soon as I made a reference to this song, you were already picturing The ending of the movie, where the song is placed with the lovable nerd, playing tetherball with his girlfriend. I am sure many of you have already seen this movie, so I don’t need to point out all of the quirks and relatability Which made this break out film a classic by Jared Hess. But I can’t resist, mentioning a few. The obvious being that this movie appears to be set in the 80s, but it’s just in such a rural part of the midwest that they’re behind the times. And although the main character is your typical nerd, it doesn’t take away from his assertiveness to express himself in any situation. Whether it’s showing his annoyance From others that he encounters(with his signature Gosh!), or his classic dance moves. I don’t want to give away too much more in case you haven’t seen it. But I have included A great analysis, what the movie is all about, as well as a clip from the movie that plays along with this song So you can get an idea of how all of this correlates in the mind.

But even with all of this is created by Hollywood and 80s NewWave music, the fact still remains that there are no guarantees in life, or promises. These forms of media actually even add salt to the wound if you will, when promises are broken. Or when things don’t turn out the way we had planned. I think people from my generation, especially were Fed so much of these things on TV and movies that we had hoped things would turn out just like this. And I’m pretty sure most of us learn the hard way, I know I did lol. But most of us have learned to adapt, except or settle for how things are, even though I’m still on the fence about some of that. I’ve learned it’s all about how we react to things. There are several metaphors that I could swing through off into right now ; “ No one can hurt us, unless we allow them to”, “ When one door closes, another one opens”, or one by the Ancient Stoic Philosopher Marcus Aurerlius ”You have power over your mind – not outside events” but But now I’m sure you get the idea. It’s basically unhealthy to cling on to these ideas, or ideals of what we wanted our lives to be with or with whom. Like anything easier said than done, and I know that more than anybody. And I must admit, it’s one of my biggest vices. And even though I’ve loaded this with many quotes and parables, I’m reminded that “if we cling to the ideal of what we wanted, we may overlook what we could have”. I’m not sure if somebody already said that, and if they didn’t, I will lay claim to it in this very moment.

I think I’ve given you all enough to think about, as we’re approaching this monumental us occasion in a few days with the Eclipse. I know everyone’s running around about their own theories about what’s gonna happen Or what won’t happen, which is often the case. But the one Take I got it from this from a reliable source is not feed in to the fear that this may bring on

Until next time, be well, everyone and thanks for reading


And here is that video I told you about from the YouTube channel of Jo Blo And his analysis of “Napoleon Dynamite”

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