All Apologies

Hello once again, I chose this title because of my consistency of being inconsistent. And of course I am sincerely apologetic about it. This year has been extremely rough and the way of suffering so many losses. I would say both personally and professionally, but the people that I have lost in the industry also happened to be personal friends.

unfortunately, some of these losses were do to suicide, something that I have found strongly to try and prevent whenever and however I can. It hasn’t been easy oh, and I have received some backlash from it. Which, I merely have brushed off as the small side effect. I don’t mind somebody being angry towards me if a life has been saved. And, I do regret that I was unable to prevent certain people in my life from taking their own. One of which was somebody that many in New York City and Philadelphia no as DJ Alex Von Nihil, who in the past was featured in this blog during happier times. I truly miss speaking to Alex on occasion about music and are other zany interests(such as collecting pictures of people with mullets). He was there for me when another close friend and former bandmate had passed away,Lynn Haze. I really can’t account for the actions of others, but unfortunately losing somebody often does bring out the worst in other people. But I will leave that as a vague statement and not get into details. Although in part, I shouldn’t even mention anything negative. However, this is my forum to express anything I feel the need to express. And for that I make no apologies.

I would however, like to make everyone aware that currently a fundraiser is being conducted for suicide prevention in Alex’s name, which anyone can donate to if they click here. There is also a tribute event in Philadelphia. I will have more on that later when I receive more details. I would also like to point out that, I would like to organize a tribute show to Lynn Haze in New York City if anyone out there that knew him personally is able to help. You’re more than welcome to join the facebook group that we created in his memory : For the Love of Lynn Haze

For anyone out there that is suffering the loss of any loved one, this link can help you find other people in your situation that you can talk to if you feel the need Grief Share. I know it seems like I’m a be loading everyone with a lot of information. However, I have noticed every time I log into social media it seems like somebody is suffering some sort of loss or another. Whether be a family member, a close friend or a pet. And with the passing of mental health awareness and suicide prevention month, I think it’s especially necessary to recognize these things. Often in the past, many people with mental health issues (myself included) have been scorned verbally as if this were a criminal act that was committed and not an illness that nobody was seeking to suffer from or looking for treatment to prevent. Often times these things are misunderstood and the need to ridicule or bully others is brought out when people are at their lowest point instead of being offered a solution or some form of assistance. That is why any chance I get, whether it be on stage when I’m performing or simply talking online or in person I encourage people to not be ashamed to ask for help and to never turn a deaf ear to those seeking aid. The Council of a peer or family member can do wonders for a person in crisis.

I hope that reading this has helped anyone that has been suffering a loss or dealing with depression, PTSD or any other form of mental health issues be uplifted and see some hope. I would also like to offer a personal hotline that was given to me through my employer that can assist anyone that needs help in any way shape or form. Whether it be counseling, legal aid or any other form of assistance in your daily lives. 800 833 8707. Remember, you are not alone and there are people who care for you. You can always reach out to somebody who is willing to listen, including myself if you were comfortable with that.

Thank you all for reading again, and I will end this now hoping that I made a difference, and I will let you know that there will be more tribute to other people that have touched my life. Please enjoy this video, in memory of someone that we did lose to suicide, the late great Kurt Cobain

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